Yesterday was an absolute disaster. I feel like I should be better at handling by now and that the trainers are annoyed that I’m not. I keep messing up. Everyone else ran blind with the trainers right behind them, but I was all alone, with a big group watching me from a top of the hill. I’ve never ran a blind trail before, I’ve barely even ran a trail that I knew where the ending was. I don’t understand why they chose to push me off that cliff and see what I’d do. Well, I massively screwed up. I was on the brink of tears and exhaustion and my dog was completely worn out, I nearly had to carry him back to the trailer he was so tired. Then the trainer decided to tell me everything I did wrong, in front of everyone. As if I wasn’t embarrassed enough.
I woke up this morning with a terrible headache because I forgot my waterbottle yesterday so I’m probably dehydrated. My legs are killing me after running around all over hells half acre for I don’t even know how long. And I didn’t care to face anyone. So I’m still at home at 9:30am, when I should be there training. I just told her I was sick. I’m sure she doesn’t care to hear the whole reason. I told her I might come in later “if I’m feeling better.” I guess by better I mean less miserable.
I’m beginning to wonder if this really is the right path for me.